Captain Smith Jokes

Brave Captain Smith One fine day, brave Captain Smith and his crew of sailors were sailing the ocean blue. Suddenly, on the horizon, there loomed a ship with a skull and crossbones raised on the mast. The crew was frantic, seeking refuge and asking the captain what to do. Brave Captain Smith looked at the approaching ship for a moment and said, ""Bring me my red shirt."" The call was taken up at once by a cabin boy. As soon as Captain Smith had the shirt in his possession, he ordered the man at …

Military Benefits Cpl. Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Cpl. Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain decided one day to stand in the back of the room to observe and listen to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the room full of…

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: If you have GI Insu…

On a flight with EasyJet back in 1997 the pilot made what can only be describes as an extremely heavy landing at Luton. It was very early in the morning and a number of passenger around me looked quite alarmed as apart from the noise a number of overhead lockers dropped open and several items of carry-on luggage were launched down the aisle. After slowing up the aircraft turned off the runway and turned towards the stand and over the PA came ""Good morning ladies gentlemen this is Captain Smith …

Selling war insurance Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and th…

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then sai…

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go in…

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insuranc…