College is just a clever marketing ploy by Starbucks and Red Bull

Accidentally bought a Venti at Starbucks and now I can't afford to go to college :(

Topical Jokes for 6/20 (For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night personality) In Maryland, two teenagers have won a marbles championship. The winning teens quickly said thank you, then boarded their time machine, to return to the year 1937. In Illinois, a university is offering a scholarship for students who play video games. The school was then forced to suspend the program when a student found out you could get unlimited scholarships, by pressing up up, down down,…

Topical Jokes for 6/11 In California, a ten-year-old boy has graduated from high school. And in Florida, a ten-year-old girl has dropped out of school because she's pregnant. ...the boy has already sent out a college application, which was written in magic marker, on the back of a Fruit Roll Up. Casey Kasem's family has decided to take him off of life support. They made the decision after Kasem's brain activity shot to the bottom of the charts. Starbucks has announced their new tables will wirel…