"Pika pika pika!" [translated] "I'm sorry, children. Your father was stolen by a Pokemon trainer who has to beat a child named Gary."

[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE

I never touch baby carrots because I'm afraid the mother will reject them.

The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.