I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said "day before Valentine's Day" like I'm some genius who knows when Valentine's Day is.

My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.

For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?

I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone