*showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!

It's a hard life. Very long but a goodun: There once was a large large city and within this large large city was a large large park, within this there was a large large lake. By the shore of this stood a normal sized bench; on it their lived a hobo. This unfortunate gentleman lived their 365 days a year come rain or shine doing his best to get buy feasting on the pigeons and rats of the park whilst begging to support his addiction to drinking bleach. It is winter; our poor friend has just awoken…

Italian Pregnancy An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who wasa the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dress…

Fish jokes One fish says to the other, ""You drink like a fish."" The other fish responds, ""So do you."" What did the sardine call the submarine? A can of people. What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line. What fish is best to have in a boat? A Sailfish. What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tunafish! (from my son Josh) If fish lived on land, which country would they live in? Finland. Where do fish keep their money? In the ri…