My telethon to raise money for starving children in Africa was a huge flop. I didn't know the TV added 10 pounds. Those kids looked fine. :(

Can any of you read your Chinese food bill? Looks like they charged me for a chicken lo-mein, a python, Africa, and a diet Coke.

There are starving kids in Africa. IHOP has a "Kids Eat Free" promotion. Just build an IHOP in Africa. Problem solved.

Ate way too much..I'm gonna go to Africa and throw up everything I just ate for all the starving children..yes I do have a generous side.