Watched an old man pay in all quarters and my only thought was "he must keep all the money he pulls from behind kid's ears"

[Enters baby room late at night] *flicks switch* [baby's got a raccoon in a headlock] "What the-" DAD CLOSE THE DOOR THIS PUNK OWES ME MONEY

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's cheat and murder for insurance money like they do on Investigation Discovery Channel.

I would pay so much money to watch the Harlem Globetrotters change a baby.