Meets girl at bar. Takes her to Ikea. Quickly learns the difference between one-night stand and one nightstand.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*

Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care.