Me: Could a drunk person do this!? *assembles Ikea bookcase* Her: that's supposed to be a couch.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*

Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care.