Professor: "Did you just show up drunk to my exam?" No way "Hungover then?" Nope "There's a lime wedge on your face"

Bartender: What will you have? Me: Whiskey BT: Straight? Me: Except for that one time in college. BT: Me: BT: Me: How 'bout them Red Sox?

Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving.

I'm not proud of this, but if the price is right, I'll buy your high school kid alcohol.