Hot chick at the bar just said that she's gonna do something stupid tonight... ...I informed her that I only had a 1.75 GPA in high school.

Professor: "Did you just show up drunk to my exam?" No way "Hungover then?" Nope "There's a lime wedge on your face"

Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving.

I'm not proud of this, but if the price is right, I'll buy your high school kid alcohol.