ME: Don't you see, the treasure is our friendship PIRATE: ...Aye ME: P: I cherish ya me matey but honestly ya misled me a tad didn't ya

cop: "you kinda look like one that's all" me: "in no way am i a pirate" cop: "hmm, are you sure?" parrot on my shoulder: "did he stutter?"

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. In many cases this will mean showing up to the interview in a pirate suit.

One time a baby threw up in my mouth & it still wasn't as disgusting as Nicholas Cage's haircut in National Treasure 2.