Chief cop: "This might be racially motivated." Ian: "Hate crime?" Chief cop: "We all hate crime, Ian. That's why we are cops."

Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian.

*Bee lands on flower covered in another flower's pollen* FLOWER: What's that? BEE: I can explain F: I don't want to hear your lies, Ian

IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.