Felix went to the moon, took 5 photos. She went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.

""honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?"" ""who? Tim, Felix or the fat one?""

New Job....... Barry is seated at a small table in a warmly lit coffee shop sipping coffee. Barry's friend Felix enters looking somewhat dubious. (Felix bares a remarkable resemblance to Woody Allen.) He spots Barry and joins him at the table. BARRY: Did you find a job? FELIX: Yeah. I got a job at a strip club helping the girls backstage to dress and undress. BARRY: How much? FELIX: Two hundred bucks a week. BARRY: That's not much. FELIX: It's all I could afford.

I'd share with you the audio log of Felix Baumgartner's jump again... ...but I'd hate to sound like a broken record.