War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors.

They only arrested Justin Bieber cause he's black.

Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'

"the uk couldn't POSSIBLY leave" "trump couldn't POSSIBLY be president" "we couldn't POSSIBLY start eating each other out of necessity"