Twitter yesterday: We are outraged about the lion! Twitter today: We are outraged about the outrage about the lion!

6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter.

Things I need now because of Twitter: 1. A cat 2. A beard 3. Printer for Avis 4. Duct tape 5. Rope 6. Gas card

A fun thing to do is to tell a complete stranger that you met your boyfriend on Twitter and then show them a cat.