For Easter, I will hide pieces of IKEA furniture all over the house and then have my kid assemble it. If she succeeds, she gets chocolate.

I'm just gonna put an egg under my kid's pillows and tell them the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy must've went out drinking the night before.

I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone

Accidentally bring the wrong kid home on Halloween once and now I have to listen to the same stupid story EVERY year.