I flipped off a latino guy who cut me off in traffic and now I'm polling at 8% in the Republican primary.

Being elected President wouldn't give me the level of self-satisfaction I have after a car speeds by me & I end up next to it at a red light

My car keeps pulling to the right forcing me to steer left. Either the alignment is off or I'm trying to drive a Republican.

Tonight I saw a truck spin out in a snowy McDonalds parking lot, and honestly it was doing a much better job of being president.