Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.

*goes to get phone out of car *sees car has been stolen *finds phone in back pocket OH THANK GOD

I never understood how a mother could lift a car with a child trapped under, until my phone got stuck under my bed.

When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?