*showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!

Home Loan Troubles So one day Kermit the frog decides that he wanted to buy this new condo by the beach. He goes into the nearest bank and strolls up to the counter. In front of him there was this teller with name badge blaring ""Paddywhack"". Kermit says ""I want a loan"". She goes through usual procedure then asks him about a deposit. He places this little tiny china elephant on the bench and says ""Here's my deposit, give me a loan"". The teller replies ""I'm sorry that's really not good enou…

The Rabbi's Blessing A rabbi was walking down the street when, suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew his shtreimel (fur hat) off his head. The rabbi ran after his hat but the wind was so strong it kept blowing his hat farther and farther away. He just couldn't catch up with it. A young gentile man, witnessing this event and being more fit than the rabbi, ran after the hat and caught it. The young gentile man handed the hat over to the rabbi. The rabbi was so pleased and grateful that he gave the …

Italian Pregnancy An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who wasa the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dress…