if you told 18 year old me that in 10 years i'd be thinkin about harriet tubman on 4/20 instead of weed, i'd have said "whos harriet tubman"

Slave: I know a way to escape Hipster slave: My friend Harriet has a better way. You probably haven't heard of it. It's really underground.

this harriet tubman news is gonna make it super awkward every time i purchase slaves in cash

A woman walked in to a pet shop... ... to buy some food for her dog, while in the pet shop she saw a parrot for only 3 where as the others where 30, she asked the shop keeper why it was so cheap and he said ""Legally when we sell any animal we need to inform the customer of where it came from and this parrot came from a brothel that got closed down and that puts people off buying it. However this parrot can say hello and learn everyone's name it meets"" she thought for a second and then decided …