Day 16,607: Still not stuck on a deserted island, and beginning to lose hope

If I get married, I'd take my wife to a deserted island on our honeymoon. On our 15th anniversary, I'd return to pick her up. Maybe.

[desert island diary - day 1] 4:15 pm: Got one call out of my cell phone before it died. Now I wait. 5:25 pm: That pizza is definitely free

[ 3 AM ] Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded Me: Do you have snacks in your car? Friend: No Me: *Hangs up