*wife spends all morning convincing son not to be afraid of the dentist* "Dad are you coming too?" Hell no dentists scare the shit out of me

The Pastor's New Teeth The Pastor goes to the dentist to get a new set of false teeth. On the first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. On the second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. But the following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what had happened to cause that. The Pastor explained that the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 mi…

A doctor and his wife were having lunch... ...and a beautiful young woman walks by and winks at the doctor suggestively. She cooes, ""How's it goin', doc?"" and walks away, hips swaying. The wife, confused, asks, ""Who was that, dear?"" The doctor took a sip of his wine and said casually, ""That's my mistress Arielle."" The wife was shocked and in tears. ""I can't believe you're cheating on me! I'm going to divorce you and take everything you have, you lying bastard!"" The husband calmly puts hi…

viagra an old man goes to the doctor for erectile dysfunction. he tells the doctor ""i haven't gotten off in years, i really need some viagra."" the doctor prescribes some viagra and sends him on his way. the next day the old man comes back and explains that it didn't work. ""i tried with my right hand, my left hand... My wife used both hands, even tried her mouth. Hell, we even went to the neighbor and asked for help and even that didn't work."" The doctor looks shocked, ""you asked your neighb…