viagra an old man goes to the doctor for erectile dysfunction. he tells the doctor ""i haven't gotten off in years, i really need some viagra."" the doctor prescribes some viagra and sends him on his way. the next day the old man comes back and explains that it didn't work. ""i tried with my right hand, my left hand... My wife used both hands, even tried her mouth. Hell, we even went to the neighbor and asked for help and even that didn't work."" The doctor looks shocked, ""you asked your neighbor for help?"" ""Yeah, and even she couldn't get the damn bottle open!""