An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

A Mafia Don hires a deaf accountant. He was pleased with himself for coming up with the idea; if the man could not hear, he would not be able to testify against the Don about what was said amongst him and his capos. One day, after several months of working near this man, he notices the accountant acting nervous and fidgety. Suddenly wary, the Don decides to take a look at his books to see if any funny business is afoot. After poring over the material, he realizes that there is about 10 million d…

A rare German Joke, behold! Requirements: Knowledge that Freudenhaus (brothel) literally translates 'House of Joy' (TYL) Small Fritzl and his dad are shopping in the city when they pass the Red light of a Freudenhaus. The Son asks 'Dad what are the selling there?' sheepishly the Father answers 'This is a Freudenhaus, a place where they sell joy'. Content with the answer the boy follow the father on his shopping errands. Later that day the father realizes the boy is slowing him down so much he wi…

Milk Cow There's an old poor dirt farming family, living on an old poor dirt farm, trying to raise dirt. And the only thing they had that was worth anything at all was this milk cow. It was a really good milk cow, gave a lot of high grade milk. Then they'd take the milk, and make milk and cheese, and sell the excess to get food. And the only thing keeping them going was this milk cow. Now one day, the farmer woke up and he looked outside, and he noticed that his milk cow was dead. He didn't know…