Topical Jokes for 8/28/14 Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have gotten married after ten years of dating. That's right ladies, Brad Pitt is officially ""sort-of off the market."" ...we're told Brad Pitt proposed by getting down on one knee, then knowingly chuckling to himself for nine minutes. It's been reported that more than 1,000 Russian troops are in Ukraine, despite Russia's denials. Vladimir Putin explained that the armed men aren't soldiers, there's no such place as Russia, and 1,000 isn't a …

Putin is working in his office planning the Ukraine war, when the ghost of Stalin suddenly appears. Putin takes the opportunity to seek advice: “Stalin, what happened? why are things not working out for us?” Stalin gives him the advice: “Send 5 million Russians to their deaths at war, and paint the Kremlin blue.” “Why blue?” asks Vladimir Putin. “I knew you wouldn’t have a problem with the first part,” chuckles Stalin.

Vladimir Putin Visits a School One Day And he gives a lecture about how great the government is, and how Russia is the best country in the world. At the end of the lecture he invites people to ask questions and one kid stands up and says: “Hello my name is Sasha and I have two questions” Putin: “go ahead” Sasha: “Why did Russia invade Ukraine? And why haven’t we won the war yet?” At that moment the bell rang and everyone went to lunch. At the end of lunch the Q&A continued and another kid…

What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it? Crimean river.