I would pay so much money to watch the Harlem Globetrotters change a baby.

When I was a kid my family was so poor my parents were forced to give my imaginary friend up for adoption.

Me: This is the year I'm going to save money. Also me: *googles, "how to purchase a baby elephant?"*

This kid at the Bar just told me Nickelback is a better band than Metallica.... Long story short....Send bail money...