I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream "WE FORGOT KEVIN!"

Warning: Dad Joke But it's a classic. Grasshopper walks into a bar and sits. Bartender says, ""Hey, we got a drink named after you."". Grasshopper says, ""Wow. You got a drink named Kevin?"".

Kevin is woken up for school. Kevin is woken up by his mother. ""Rise and shine, Kevin! Time to go to school!"" ""But mom, I don't want to get up."" ""No, you're getting up now, no excuses."" ""Name me two good reasons for why I should get up now and go to school.."" ""First of all: You're 54. And second of all, you're the principal!"" *Source: Hamburger Abendblatt issue #124*

Little Johnny's Father Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, ""I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."" The first student raised her hand to volunteer. ""Marcy,"" the teacher said. ""You may go first."" Marcy replied, ""My father is a…