TOP REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: 1) Ted Cruz 2) A gun 3) Your racist uncle 4) A gun in a cowboy hat 5) Jeb Bush 6) Literally a turd

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President? Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz announced he is running for president as a Republican. That surprised me; I thought he was running as a joke.

Hillary, Trump, and Cruz walk into a bar Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Ted Cruz walk into a bar on Christmas Eve. Hillary tells the bartender: "Good evening, my man! Pour me a drink, I'm tired and thirsty from all the campaigning." Donald Trump then says: "Merry Christmas! I want a drink too." He then looks closely at the bartender and says, "You are incredibly ugly. And bald. I hate ugly people. I have always been a very beautiful man. Because I'm beautiful and a winner and ahead…