"I put on pants for nothing" - my 10 yo after she got dressed and her soccer game was cancelled. Someone set up her Twitter account.

Joke What do Twitter drama and football have in common? They are both interesting to watch.

Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.

After six years of being responsible, I finally went and lost my phone last night. I'm currently using Twitter from the web. LIKE A CAVEMAN.