told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco

Every chef on Chopped's like "I was medically dead for 3 yrs & my wife married the guy who pushed me off that bridge. My specialty is bao."

I am not a ride or die chick. I have questions. Where we going? Will there be food? Why do I have to die? Why didn't you like my last pic?..

Starting my diet and training tomorrow; hope I can count on your support and prayers that I die in my sleep. Please RT.