Not the typical format for a post here, but thought it was worth sharing My grandfather passed away this week, and I'll always remember him for his jokes. He served in the military when he was younger, then raised 3 kids (including my mother). When my mother and my father were dating, he went over to their house just to stop by (he worked not too far away), and he saw my grandmother scratching off a lottery ticket. He asks ""You ever win anything off of those tickets?"", and my grandmother repli…

My dad's dad joke a few moments ago My dad is a Navy Vietnam vet who is about to be a retired GM electrical engineer. He is retiring against his will because he has had three strokes, colon cancer, a pulmonary embolism, necrotic esophagus, renal failure, pneumonia, basically a medical shitstorm and he survived it all. In the process, he has lost a lot of memory and quite a bit of his cognitive abilities and furthermore, his balance. However, when I took out the trash tonight at nearly half past …

A man visits a priest for confession... An elderly man in Germany walks into a confessional box after feeling the urge that he needed to confess. Man: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. During the great war I hid a Jewish refugee in my attic. Priest: Well, that's not a sin my son, but rather a heroic act of great compassion and daring. Man: But I made him agree to pay me 20 marks for each week he stayed. Priest: I must admit, that wasn't a great decision, but I am sure you did it for a good c…

So a young man joins the army.. So a young man joins the army, it was his life plan since he was little because his grandfather and father before him both served. He felt like it was his duty to carry on the family tradition. So after he joins he goes through all his basic training and testing. A few months later he is being deployed, unfortunately the day he is to ship out he sleeps in. Not much mind you but just enough to make him last in line to receive his fire arm. When he finally gets to t…