the flight attendant came down the aisle holding out a bag of trash to me and i was like "sure what the hell" and grabbed a couple pieces

Three guys survive a plane crash Both pilots and a passenger. They find themselves stranded in a dense unknown jungle. After hours of searching for some sort of help or civilization the ground starts to rumble. In panic they run through the vegetation but it's no use. A huge monstrous cyclops rushes from behind them and scoops them up. With a sinister voice he says "" I am king of this forest, ruler of pain and conquer of death. If you wish to escape you must complete a challenge. Each of you mu…

A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane... ..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom ""folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will crash."" So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams ""Who passed de gas?"" The priest says ""how did you know?"" And the Jamaican answers ""de scent!"" ...I'll show myself out

50 bucks is 50 bucks. Lois and Stan have been married for 35 years and every year they go to the state fair when it's in town. This year they have a new ride called 'The Helicopter ride'. $50 for a ride in the helicopter for 25 minutes. Stan really wants to ride it so he asks his wife if they can go. She declines saying that '50 bucks is 50 bucks and we shouldn't spend it on something so frivolous'. He is visibly upset but understands so they go on with the day. The next year they go back and th…