😄 I spend more time on twitter than I do in church. I'd rather vent to imaginary friends on the Intern...

I spend more time on twitter than I do in church. I'd rather vent to imaginary friends on the Internet than to imaginary friends in the sky.

Joke ID: 01KKTNKYMQQARN7RYR4S6Z4ZYQ

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After six years of being responsible, I finally went and lost my phone last night. I'm currently using Twitter from the web. LIKE A CAVEMAN.

I wonder if they have WiFi in Hell...

did you know that the bible doesn't actually contain any references to hell? or heaven? or christ?? it just a bunch of names & phone numbers

*getting married Priest: will you love & honor her? Me: I will Her: [whispers to priest] Priest: and leave your phone unlocked? Me: I'm out