A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.

*16 calls me at office* 16: Are you stopping at the grocery store tonight? Me: No 16: You're out of beer Me: Ok I will, what do you want?

Still trying to convince my boss that I'm just using beer-flavoured toothpaste.

You think Minnie Mouse ever got drunk & decided to bang Goofy after a Disney mixer? -Was the last time my boss asked me for my thoughts