😄 *16 calls me at office* 16: Are you stopping at the grocery store tonight? Me: No 16: You're out of ...

A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.

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Still trying to convince my boss that I'm just using beer-flavoured toothpaste.

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You think Minnie Mouse ever got drunk & decided to bang Goofy after a Disney mixer? -Was the last time my boss asked me for my thoughts

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Boss: Are you drinking liquor at work? *flashes back to pouring apple juice into a whiskey bottle bc I couldn't find a thermos* "Yes"

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