Based on the number of nurses on twitter, I now know why I'm bleeding to death in the ER.

Before twitter, celebrities used to sit dead for months and months completely unnoticed.

me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD

If you're famous and your name suddenly becomes a Twitter trending topic, you are probably dead.