"Pika pika pika!" [translated] "I'm sorry, children. Your father was stolen by a Pokemon trainer who has to beat a child named Gary."

Times were tough. We lived in the bush when I was growing up, my dad was a float plane pilot shuttling loggers around - he'd bought a piece of land close to where he worked. In the winter time, the lake we were on froze and we were on our own unless we wanted to skidoo 6 hours to the nearest town. My dad, also a hunter, was keen on keeping his family fed - so he'd often use the guise of our remoteness to to maybe, bend the laws a smidge to provide some nourishment. Early one spring, he was o…

Mother: “Won’t it be nice when baby brother starts to talk?” Gary (rather jealous): “What does he want to talk for? He gets everything he wants by just crying!”

Gary was traveling down a quiet country road when he noticed a large group of people standing around outside a house. He stopped and asked a farmer why such a large crowd was gathered. The farmer replied,” Billy Bob’s mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.” “I see,” Gary said. “Well, she must have had a lot of friends.” “Naw,” the farmer said, “we just all want to buy his mule.”