Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*

I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.

No, PSA, buzzed driving isn't drunk driving. Buzzed driving gets me home 51 weekends a year, drunk driving gets me home w/a fat chick.

[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that