Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*

I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.

[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that

"I'd hit that if I was drunk." - Me, driving by a mailbox just now.