When I die, I'm donating my body to Simons. I tell this to every Simon I meet. So far, they're not into it

[weather guy on TV] "Today there will be 12 clouds. One is called Simon"

A friend of mine asked me how he could become a more effective boss... I said, just change your name to Simon.

Jesus dropped his cross for the 3rd time, and Simon of Cyrene said to him: ""Do you even lift bro?""