When I die, I'm donating my body to Simons. I tell this to every Simon I meet. So far, they're not into it#Simon#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog#Animals#Kids#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp