[GOP Debate] MODERATOR: this question is for Senator Cruz. How will you handle zodiackillersayswhat? CRUZ: what? MODERATOR: I knew it!

Joe Biden's thoughts on the Supreme Court ""And look, I told Barack, if you really, really want to remake the Supreme Court, nominate Cruz. Before you know it, you'll have eight vacancies."" - Vice President Joe Biden https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/03/06/joe-biden-just-told-a-very-good-joke-at-ted-cruzs-expense/

Hillary, Trump, and Cruz walk into a bar Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Ted Cruz walk into a bar on Christmas Eve. Hillary tells the bartender: "Good evening, my man! Pour me a drink, I'm tired and thirsty from all the campaigning." Donald Trump then says: "Merry Christmas! I want a drink too." He then looks closely at the bartender and says, "You are incredibly ugly. And bald. I hate ugly people. I have always been a very beautiful man. Because I'm beautiful and a winner and ahead…

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors.