Happy Valentine's Day!! If you don't have that perfect someone in your life, you are worthless. Die.

Is this OC? I thought of it in the shower. Help with making it better would be appreciated. A farmer is eating dinner with his lovely daughter. The local merchants son, known for being honest and trustworthy, walks in and says "sir I'd like to lay with your daughter." The farmer in a rage asks "Why the hell would I let you do that?" To which the merchants son reply's "I was just diagnosed with a disease that will kill me tomorrow and your daughter is the loveliest creature I have ever set ey…

I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine's Day.

I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said "day before Valentine's Day" like I'm some genius who knows when Valentine's Day is.