I only drink out of jugs labelled XXX and I carry my money in a big sack with a dollar sign on the side. Everyone thinks I'm cool as hell.

[bank robbery] "Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY

I'm telling you to go to hell because I'm poor. If I was rich I would kill you.

Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening.