I'm doing a book signing at Barnes & Noble today. Nobody asked me to. It's not even my book.

I like to sit outside Barnes & Noble with my iPad and make caveman noises at the people coming out with real books.

If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.

I'll be signing books at Barnes & Noble from 6 p.m. to whenever they kick me out for ruining all their books.