[Bit Long] So, there's a man walking through the Sahara... ...and finds an empty, dirty bottle. He's fairly poor, and is travelling to the nearest city to trade. He figures the bottle has some value, maybe a tourist will buy it, and examines it. He takes a good look at it, and rubs it. Suddenly, a genie appears! He tells the traveler that he will grant him two, and only two, wishes. The traveler is running low on supplies, and hasn't seen his family in months; maybe years. He wishes to be brough…

America, a country where people spend half of their money on food, and the other half on losing weight.

1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: ""Buy one dog, get one flea."" 3. I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here. 4. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 5. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 6. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. 7. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in valu…

Life's Observations 1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: ""Buy one dog, get one flea."" 3. I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here. 4. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 5. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 6. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. 7. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolut…