What did Hitler say when he rose to power? Give me all Germany. (Ger-money) Yeah I'm sorry. On my way out.

Politically incorrect What's long and black? The unemployment line What's the difference between Michael phelps and hitler? Phelps could finish a race What's the difference between money and Jews? Id give a shit if I lost 6 millions Jews

Trying to buy things in Soviet Russia. (not my own creation, just ran into them and I think they should be told a lot) There was this old grandfather in Moscow who was a little confused. His neighbors knew that, so when they saw him standing outside his door with an empty shopping bag, they tried to help: ""Grandpa, what are you doing?"" ""Ah, sorry, I forgot. Do you know if I'm going out shopping or have I already returned?"" They could tell him that he wasn't away yet, so he went to see if the…

A woman and a Rabbi So, an old woman goes to her Rabbi and says "I just won a hundred million dollars in the lottery!" Her Rabbi Replies "That is wonderful, what are you going to do with all that money?" "First, I'm going to donate twenty five million dollars to charity." "You will do so much good with that money" The Rabbi says "Then, I will keep twenty five million for myself." To which the Rabbi says "You deserve the money, you have done so much good in your life." "The rest of the mon…