My wife and I found each other on a dating website.........3 years after we got married. That was awkward.

Text to wife: "Would you bring me my " and my phone suggests "girlfriend." My phone is trying to kill me.

Twitter is awesome. You can have a boyfriend right in your phone. Available at all times. Unless his wife's around.

Tinder is such an useless app The only match it gave me was of my wife..