The Pretzel Hold. Back in the days of the Cold War, the United States and the Soviet Union played out their battle for world domination at the Olympics, and the signature event was heavyweight wrestling. Both sides wanted the bragging rights in that event, and they stopped at nothing to get the edge. And so, deep in the wastelands of Siberia, the Soviets brought all of their knowledge of genetics and selective breeding to bear and created the fastest, strongest wrestler they'd ever produced. …

USSR jokes about America My dad told me this one was a classic when he lived in the former Soviet Union: So as you know, Russia and America would send spies against each other frequently. All American spies were mandated to learn Russian and all Russians English. Well so, the American spy gets dropped off in the middle of Siberia. Freezing, he goes to the nearest house and knocks. When the owner gets to the door, the spy says, "May I please have some shelter and food?" The owner of the ho…

[at library] ME: Yes, I'd like to Czech out a book on eastern Europe. LIBRARIAN: 3rd floor ME: Get it? L: This is dialog, I'm not reading it

Anyone who claims on the internet that the President is a Communist, should be forced to spend a year in 1934 Siberia.